This most recent post will be some of my feelings throughout this whole process. This process has been long, hard, taxing, stressful, and every other emotion we could probably fathom. Several people have asked how we are doing. It is easiest to state “we are doing good”. It becomes a part of our vocabulary, part of a natural response to the question. But what does good really mean?

Good for us has several different meanings. But mostly they are wrapped up in what is going on with In-Vitro. Unfortunately In-Vitro isn’t the only thing going on in our lives right now. Work has its good days and bad. My OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) has moments when I just can’t let things go. There are days when Jason is traveling for work and I miss him so much (or I don’t miss him at all), church takes time away from everything we have going on as well. But when people hear “good”, it usually means that things are moving right along with In-Vitro. Things are not too overwhelming, we have done everything we need to; we are putting all our faith into the process.

Most importantly through this whole process, “good” means that we are surviving. This has been the hardest thing either of us have ever had to do. We look back on our missions for our church and realize that even though they were difficult, we have never been put to the test like this before. We feel so blessed to be members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and have the knowledge that Heavenly father is there for us. When we say “good” it means we haven’t given up on nightly prayer together to make it through the next day. It means we have tried to put all our fears aside and have decided to move forward with what doctors are telling us. It means that we are somehow figuring out a way to pay for all this and still have enough when the baby comes to deal with life in general. It means that above all, we feel your love and support and know that we have HUNDREDS of people praying for us, thinking of us, and hoping that we are successful.

We are so grateful for this opportunity we have right now in our lives to be experiencing this. We want to thank everyone for all your love and support and hope it will continue regardless of the result and into our future. We are grateful for our friends who care so much for us and want to be a part of our lives.

To you all, we say we are doing “Good” and hope you understand!!!

I wanted to post on the blog a calendar of what has been happening and will be happening so people understand how much goes into this process. This post does not include any of the outcomes on these, please check out our Caring Bridge page for that. It includes all my feelings during the whole process, how we dealt with the outcomes, how difficult it was to come up with the money, etc. I hope though, that this list gives a small glimpse of how long the process if from the first testing until I am transferred back to my OBGyn. And this does not include anything prior. Have fun and enjoy:

· November: Hysteroscopy ($300), Sperm Survival Analysis ($200) (where they went inside me and found polyps), blood work ($200), Ultra sound (for 30 minutes to make sure everything is ok), taking Birth Control (BC)

· December 8^th- Surgery to remove the polyps ($200)

· December: Collecting money and sending out emails (still taking BC)

· January 7^th: Apt with Nurse to get trained on when to give shots, go over whole schedule, and order medications

· January: Order Medications ($2900 total)

· January 21^st: MONEY DUE ($10,200)- everything from this point on is covered in that money

· January 21^st: Start Lupron shots (to suppress system so it doesn’t release my eggs too early)

· January 24^th: Last day of BC pill

· January 28^th: baseline apt (including Ultra Sound) and more blood work

· January 29^th: start stimulating hormones (2 separate shots) and decrease Lupron, but still taking- start dexamethasone (steroid) so I don’t have an allergic reaction to the medications

· Feb 3^rd: Blood work

· Feb 4^th: Blood work, Urinalysis, Ultra Sound

· Feb 5^th: Blood work, Urinalyisis, Ultra Sound, special HCG shot at exactly 8:30pm

· Feb 6^th: My one day of freedom from shots during the whole process!!!!

· Feb 7^th: Egg retrieval, start antibiotic

· Feb 8^th: start Progesterone shots (daily until week 8 of pregnancy)

· Feb 10^th: tentative Embryo transfer (3 days total bed rest), start vaginal suppositories until week 8 of pregnancy

· Feb 12^th: Embryo transfer if not on Feb 10^th

· Feb 20^th: First blood draw for pregnancy test, they just freeze and do not test

· Feb 22^nd: Second blood draw for pregnancy test, they will run both tests- WE WILL FIND OUT IF IT WORKED!!!! Happy Birthday to Jason!!!!!

· March 2^nd: More blood work to make sure my body is producing the correct hormones

· End of March/Beginning April: First Ultra Sound and finding out how many babies we are going to be having

· Beginning of May: Transfer back to my regular OBGyn

The Money went in on Friday Jauary 21^st! We cannot believe this is actually happening. We wanted to thank all our friends and family who dedicated time, talents (for the auction), and money to help us get to this point. We mostly need to thank those that last minute were helping us reach our goal and even offered us loans. We could not have done this without any of you! We feel so grateful to be a part of a great big “family” that loves us and takes care of us and wants us to succeed. We know that through our Faith (continued) we will be able to reach our goal and become pregnant.

Many have asked us about the auction. Though we were only able to sell three items pre-auction adnonly 5 people showed up the night of the auction, we were able to collect $1200. Our goal was between $1000 and $1500. We know we could not have done this without your support, your donations of items or time, those that bid on items, and many others who were there in support of us! We did not sell all the items. We have posted all of the “substantial” gifts on craigslist to try and sell here locally. We still have hope they will sell. If there is anything anyone did not get a chance to “auction” for, we are more than happy to try and work out a deal.

People keep telling me that if I have Faith it will work out. I wanted to write just a little something about Faith. Having a perfect faith means that if it be Heavenly Father’s intention and after ALL that we can do, it will happen. This is what we have. We have made calls, worked hard, planned things, prayed daily, and have done all that we can on our part. And we have this “Perfect Faith” that it will work. We also know that if it does not work, that is heavenly Father’s wish for us. This may not be the way that he is going to allow children into our family. We do not feel that He would be punishing us or that our Faith would have not been strong enough if we are not successful. We know that Heavenly Father is on our side. He is cheering for us, and he wants us to have a family right now. We have Faith that this is going to work out. We are so grateful for those of you who have exercised faith in this process, who have shown nothing but love and support, and to those who have even exercised a little more faith and have helped us out.

We want to thank everyone, even those who were unable to help financially. We have felt hugs, prayers, support, questions, and concern as we have been trying to do all that we can in this process! We thank you all and know that we still have a ways to go. Please keep us in your prayers continually! (and since we did have to take out loans, if there are still those willing to “donate”, anything at this point would still help out and we will gladly accept it).

We love you all!

Mindy and Jason