The Pregnancy Roller Coaster . . .

Well, I REALLY have needed to update this blog for some time now. Since we had such a difficult time getting pregnant, Jason and I assumed that once we were pregnant, everything would be “normal” and we would be able to enjoy the pregnancy. As you can tell from posts below, it didn’t start off that way, nor has it continued that way either.

On April 6^th, I went to my regular OB, Dr, Beatty. We had a really good visit and she put me on restricted work and pelvic rest. This was due to the fact that I still hadn’t stopped “bleeding” (bleeding by the Doctors is described as anything besides clear discharge, meaning brown discharge is considered “blood”- just old blood). I was ok with restricted work, even though it meant just answering phones. I was just happy that things seemed to be getting better and that I was going to be able to still have some sort of normal life.

Baby Beaker 10 weeks 3 days

So life continued for few days normally (or as normal as pregnancies go) with me being nauseous but STARVING when I wasn’t nauseous, and work going according to plan.

It didn’t last long though. On April 10^th, I started bleeding A LOT again, just like the time on March 13^th. This being the second time, we were not as worried, but still frightened. We went and saw Dr. Beatty on April 11^th (since the 10^th was a Sunday) and she showed us cute Beaker again and put me back on complete bed rest.

Baby Beaker 11 weeks 3 days

So I have been on bed rest for 7 ½ weeks now (I am now 4 months pregnant or 18 weeks). At first we were hoping that I would be released when I hit 14 weeks hoping that Baby Beaker was big enough to hold the placenta in place and prevent it from bleeding. Unfortunately that date came and went. We found, however, that part of my placenta is over my cervix. It is just the very small end part, and we were hoping it would “move” (they don’t really move, the uterus just grows bigger) out of the way as well, but it still has not as of my appointment yesterday. The Dr says it may not really “move” until week 28, so we will just have to wait and see. It is close enough, though, that I will probably have to have a c-section regardless, they will definitely keep an eye on it and make sure I am good to deliver naturally.

Baby Beaker 13 weeks 2 days

The nausea subsided at about 12-13 weeks, though after my second bought of bleeding, I have had no appetite (in fact most days I have to remind myself to eat, I have no interest in eating- hence have only gained 4lbs on bed rest). I still have weekly appointments with Ultra Sounds. This is primarily to make sure there are not any larger bleeding areas and to make sure Beaker is still happy. We do not get pictures every time, but enjoy the ones we do get. I love seeing him wiggle (most days he is wiggling, occasionally sleeping) and hearing his fast heartbeat!

Most of my days are pretty normal. Normal consists of me feeling fat, not having any issues, and for the most part (just recently) not having any bleeding at all. I enjoy these days and try my hardest to make sure that I am doing what I need to in order for Beaker to grow the right way. I have TONS of stuff still to do, and I keep myself fairly busy. I still try and walk around the house, but do not lift anything, or stand for too long (the longest I stand is taking a shower when I actually wash my hair). I don’t make any meals but have become very proficient at heating up hot pockets or leftovers from the fridge. I drink about 96oz of water a day, and therefore have to use the bathroom a whole lot more than before.

I still have some pretty bad days. At first, those days where when I had more bleeding than usual. Then for some reason, I started cramping a lot more. I have some days where I cramp all day, and sometimes it will even keep me awake at night. These are cramping, though, and not contractions. The doctors think it is from the uterus STILL trying to get the old blood out, the placenta moving over my cervix, or even Beaker kicking my cervix and causing cramping since he has been breach since week 13. I did stop bleeding completely for 1 ½ weeks, only to start with LOTS of brown blood again this past weekend.

On good days, I think there is an end to this whole ordeal and that I still might be able to enjoy a “normal” pregnancy at some point. In fact, there are days I feel completely normal! On bad days I think this will never end I am get prepared for the whole pregnancy being on bed rest (which my Doctor has already requested off work for me). I try and think positively most days, and it usually works, but there are still bad moments, hence the roller coaster ride.

I have been very blessed to be surrounded by a wonderful family who has stepped in WAY above and beyond what we were hoping for. They have come weekly and straightened the house, helped with laundry, made a meal, washed the dishes, and twice now, have even super cleaned my house (the way that I like it-lol). For the first few weeks, we didn’t hear anything from our ward and assumed that we were on our own. Finally, we (and my parents) asked for help. Since then, we have been super blessed to get dinners once or twice a week (usually) and some people have even been kind enough to help with dishes mid-week. The thing that I have enjoyed the most, however, is the fact that people come over and visit. I miss people SOOOOOOOOO much. At work, I was used to seeing 50-100 people a day. Now I am stuck at home and usually only have the computer and phone as means for communicating. So I LOVE having people over to visit. It makes my days feel so much better (and also gives me a reason to get dressed).

My husband has been my lifesaver through this all. I am amazed at how he has stepped up and assumed all responsibility for everything. He is not perfect, but most days I am not going nuts at the clutter and disarray that usually accompanies our house. He does an amazing job of remembering to feed me (even when I forget) and makes sure that I am taken care of when he is gone (since we only have one car right now and I am not really supposed to be driving by myself anyway). He is my superman! He even remembered and sent me flowers on Mother’s Day form him and little Beaker. Those made me feel so special! He is also so willing to give and find others to help give priesthood blessings. These have made such a difference during this time. On days when I am ready to throw in the towel and cry forever, these blessings and reassurances from Heavenly Father keep me sane.

Other than that, my pregnancy is going normal! I have now officially grown out of all but three pairs of stretch exercise pants and now have to wear pants above or below my bump (I no longer really have a waist line). On Saturday this past week, I was able to feel Baby Beaker for the first time! I have pretty much felt him every day since then, but realize it is still very early and I need to be patient. I know that the next few weeks and months will go by faster than I think they will, and I just need to be patient and rely on the Lord. For now, I will just continue to ride this “Pregnancy Roller Coaster”!

Baby Beaker 17 weeks 2 days